Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Autumn Hath Reared Its Chilly Head

I'm feeling very scattered this week (and it's only Wednesday - not a good sign)

I feel like there's so much to do and not enough time...but I know that's not true. It's only mid-August, but I've got all these lists going; on my kitchen chalkboard, on random slips of paper, listed on the calendar in my purse, in my head. I just feel like I can't keep anything straight; I can't focus and I'm not listening to anyone. I start to listen when they talk to me and suddenly I realize that I've zoned off and haven't heard a word they've said.

I feel like a kid who just realized that school starts next week, that summer's over and there's so much that I didn't do that I wanted to do. This isn't unusual for me this time of year, though. I go through that "Autumn Expectation" period every year. It just feels like it has crept up on me sooner this year, but rereading my August 24th post from last year shows that it really hasn't. I think it creeps up on me because I'm not paying attention and it sends me into a confused whirlwind. It's 44 °F during Sadie and my morning walk; it creeps into the 70's during the day with a brisk, autumn breeze; then BAM!!! it drops like a rock in the evening and suddenly I'm thinking, "WAIT! I didn't go swimming enough! I didn't do enough gardening! I didn't sit on the porch and read practically at all. I didn't barbeque enough. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

I, of course, realize that this is a complete lie. I've already looked back to see all the things I did this summer (thank you dear blog o' mine!). Okay, so maybe there weren't enough barbeque's and maybe I didn't jump in the Lake enough, but it's Fall! Crisp cool nights made for walking in wooly sweaters, pulling fabric together for quilting, get that fire pit crackling for a leisurely sit down and marshmallow roast, baking...mmmmm....baking - breads and pies and cookies. Ooooh, making stews and soups and hot cider. There is nothing better than sitting on porch in Autumn, wrapped in a quilt with a cup of homemade chicken noodle soup (big chunks of chicken and carrots and potatoes and celery, wide wheat noodles *drooooool*) and a good book, something that's set in the Fall so you really get the full effect.

I think just by verbalizing it, by putting a name to my problem, I can fix it. My scatteriness starts sliding away and the lists are starting to come together with a time line. I have a plan now and even if that plan falls through, I'll be okay with it.

Okay, my rambling is done. I apologize for my random, all-over-the-place thoughts, but I think I just needed to get them out of my head to get rid of this unfocused feeling. I really think I'm ready to say farewell to summer and hellooooo to fall!

1 comment:

simple me said...

yes there is always this feeling that we never do enough but then when we look back after all it was not too bad.
I know so well about so much to do never enough time. I'm an expert :)