Thursday, August 24, 2006

the autumnal cusp

(by photographer Paula Corsaro)

fall has hit...no wait, it's still summer - oh, no, no now it's fall. oh but if you face this way - yup, summer again.

no, i'm not going crazy...maine is on the cusp of autumn. it was 54 degrees outside when i walked sadie this morning, bundled in my heaviest sweatshirt, fleecy pants and knee socks and it was still chilly!

at noon, i ventured out for lunch while a brisk breeze blew and the hot, hot sun beat down. by this evening, it will drop into the 50's again, much like last night.

autumn stirs so many emotions in me. everyone knows that it is a time of change; every autumn for 17 years it was back to school time. like spring, a time for new beginnings; you looked forward to it, to making new friends and meeting up with old ones, having parties and going for walks, it was so social! then suddenly, once college was through, there was no back to school, friends scattered- moving back home or to a new home altogether, the old college haunts were suddenly 4 hours away...fall became just one more season you worked through, no big "ta-daaaah", it was same old same old. for a few years after college, i was getting that autumn feeling of expectation, an anticipation of good things to come, only to be disappointed that the only things that were changing in my life were the leaves.

but one autumn day, as i was taking a detour on a road i'd never been on, through the country, i had an epiphany; before me lay a hay field in need of a mow to one side and a pumpkin patch to the other, behind both were trees in the most vibrant of colors with dark mountains looming distantly over and the sun...that glorious october sun setting in the most breathtaking array of pinks and salmons, purples and golds. suddenly, something clicked inside me. it was less of a verbal "well this means this and that means that" kind of epiphany but more of a visual, internal, everything falling into place, relishing the change happening in nature epiphany that filled me with such happiness...that i cried. the disappointment was shed, the blinders of misery were gone. it was like seeing something so spectacular for the first time, and in essence, i was.

i realized it was up to me to take that autumn anticipation and turn it into something fun, rather than letting it pass by without celebration! now, i have lists of things i want to do to celebrate fall! collect fall leaves, carve pumpkins, decorate with gourds and cornstalks and hay bales, quilt - oh but this is the best time of year to quilt! - bake bread and cookies and country chicken pie, pick fresh apples and make apple pie, stoke up the fire pit outside and breath in that wonderful scent of wood smoke, watching full moons near halloween - halloween...mmmm....i have a huge smile on my face right now, it is my favorite! it's not the tricks, it's not the treats...i can't explain it. there is a happiness linked to it that stems from childhood. it could be that it's a time that encourages young and old to dress up and make pretend...it's...i can't put my finger on it, but now i'm yearning for it.

"oh bright moon, oh goddess of the night, bring on the change, those autumn delights"

i'm ready for it! are you?

1 comment:

Shari said...

it's my favorite too. i love october...because that's really when fall starts in the south. i tell t to remind me on a daily basis that it's october so i won't forget to appreciate the season!