Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Thoughts and Things

I skipped drawing class last night. I just didn't feel well. Still don't.

I feel like I have so much on my mind: Christmas and Christmas presents, the staff holiday party at my house, bills and truck worries and...the list seems endless.

I'm feeling so uninspired that's not right. I feel very inspired by so many things that they're all swirling in my brain and I can't seem to catch them, to focus on them and put them on paper or blog post.

Thinking of the year ahead, I want to do so many things. It's like 2006 went by in such a blur. Days rolled into weeks into months until it's now mid-December and what have a I done? Oh, I know there are all those crafty projects and house projects...and I did get to go to Tennessee. But there was so much more that I wanted to do and didn't. And not elaborate things, simple things...make farmer's market trips a regular weekend thing in the summer; take road trips; spend the day walking around a town I've never explored and take pictures; spend a day in a cafe or bookstore, reading and drinking chai.

2006 felt like everything was "go go go go - fast fast fast - do do do - now now now" and I just didn't stop to enjoy. Yes there were moments, but they seem so few and far between now. I feel as though I wasn't really present when I was hanging out with friends and family. I was there, but mentally I was going through a checklist of things I could be, should be, need to be doing.

I guess I feel that I need to make more of an effort in 2007. I think I want to institute a movie night every other week with my friends, a craft day/night/weekend/whatever once a month or whenever, really get my house organized so that when a crafty-arty inspiration strikes I won't be digging for supplies or worse yet...ignoring it because I don't want to dig for supplies! I want to take pictures of something interesting everyday. I want to buy a new CD every month of a band or singer that I've never heard of and explore their sound and if I don't like it, I'll pass it on...but I want to really expand my musical interests. I want to just take off and road trip alone - take the train to Boston or something...but I want to road trip with friends, too (to have someone to explore with). I want to create guerilla art (I still have my bucket o' chalk - I just never took the time to do it!) I need to rehab my budgeting skills (they're not the best) and take time to go thrifting and antiquing. I need to really take time to garden this year and get energized and finish the projects I started last year (and the year before). I want to go through a major purge session and get rid of all the things taking up space, that are unnecessary...really pare down and revamp not only my house but my life. I don't feel like I'm living...I feel as though I'm just existing. I feel...bored. Not just bored, excruciatingly bored!

It's time for change in my life. Good change, positive change, new people to go with the old ones, new adventures to talk about, new books to read and new projects to try (while I finish the old ones).

Change is good and it's needed. Wish me luck!


simple me said...

You described so well what I have been feeling for the past couple of years.
Change is definitely good but sometimes when we are in the process it can be hard.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Hope you are feeling better now.

Shari said...

hi tiffany,
i think reflection is good and the end of the year seems to be the time that it usually occurs. maybe you should try starting small...setting an intention each day for something you want to accomplish THAT day. it has changed how i view my life. there are far too many amazing things out there for you to be bored. take a deep breath and look all around you.
best wishes for a great 2007. shari

Listoria said...

Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone! Things have just felt so stale lately and I know it's up to me to make my life interesting.