Tuesday, June 13, 2006

self-reflection

she's obsessive compulsive about making sure the stove elements are turned off, the toaster and coffee maker are unplugged, doors are locked and the curling iron or blow dryer are put away before she goes to work...if she doesn't do this, it'll nag at her: she'll get halfway to work, turn around to go back to the house and check.

if she can't sleep at night, she sings songs in her head until she falls asleep. normally it's the "once upon a dream" song from sleeping beauty, a random song from the muppet family christmas or "king of the fairies" as done by the irish rovers.

she goes through moments when she can't stand a band or a singer that she once loved and can't understand why she ever like them, because their music just grates on her nerves now. but then she rediscovers them later and can't understand why she didn't like their music. today it's the beatles, but she's rediscovered the stones.

every time she gets in the elevator, she thinks the same thing: "elevator doors don't close as quickly in real life as they do in the movies. if someone where chasing me right now, they would have time to get into the elevator with me, do whatever they were going to do and get out again before these stupid doors actually close!"

when she sleeps at night, she sleeps across the top of the bed, with her back against the pillows and her legs down the length...almost in an "L" position".

when a commercial comes on t.v., she has to mute it or she'll become annoyed.

she loves to putter and organize. it makes her brain feel ordered.

she's not a big fan of noise, crowds or extreme fluxuations in temperature.

she googles everything she doesn't know and then forgets what she just read, but will remember it 5 years from now when it's useless to her.

she feels that life has become pleasant and that things that used to get her so down, now don't. she is able to brush off the bad stuff and focus on the good.

she is definitely a morning person.

she is alone...but doesn't feel lonely.

every day she feels more aware, more able to focus on today rather than wondering what tomorrow will be like. she's beginning to understand what it is like to just "be".

today is quiet and she is happy.

1 comment:

simple me said...

I like your idea of self-reflection...the processes of growing up (one day likes this band and the other doesn't comprehend why).
I identify myself with tv commercials, noise, crowds and organisation.
I'm also happy when quiet.
Have a good day!
bjs
Paula